The Journey of Evolution

Over the summer I wrote two posts about the season of life I unexpectedly found myself: The Season of Slow, and The Discomfort of Transformation. Both were uncomfortable, but I knew for myself that writing my way through was part of the discovery process and the best way forward.

One of the most jarring aspects of transformation and slowing down is that no one at any point of my life had anyone warned me, or given me the heads up, that this could be a reality. These scenarios are designed to take you out of your comfort zone, and don’t feel warm and fuzzy making the discomfort that much more uncomfortable. You don’t always know what’s happening when you’re in it, as it can feel like something is broken or wrong with you, when in reality good things are cooking behind the scenes.

Years ago my friend Anna told me about her post-it note that says “I’m uncomfortable = I’m growing.” I thought I understood it through some of the professional experiences I lived (namely feeling like an imposter), but little did I know I was about to experience the uncomfortable at a whole new level and depth.

There’s no one way this discomfort or slowing down happens for people. It’s different for everyone, and most of the time we are too blind (or moving too fast) to acknowledge it. For me, it wasn’t anything awful or traumatic, but rather a series of little events, tests, and WTF moments, or what my friend Cathy called my “beautiful curveballs.” With time I was able to see that these were indeed beautiful lessons from the universe teaching me to show up in different ways.

In life is there are patterns. Things keep repeating—in different forms and scenarios—until we wake up enough to actually face them. You can keep complaining or do something about it. I’ve come to see now that 2022 was my year where I’d had enough, and was ready to step into my power, and operate in a new way that was more deeply aligned with my being and not someone else’s (ahem society’s) view of who I should be and what I should do.

When I created doodles for the post that became “The Discomfort of Transformation” in part it was because it was hard to find words to communicate the experience. But I knew I was updating my operating system, and while I could sense progress I had no idea how much further there was to go. I also knew in the process I was making decisions that wouldn’t necessarily make sense to others.

Ultimately, this season was about learning to trust myself and not need outside validation to tell me I was doing it right. That’s where the slowing down and solitude came to play. Ironically, during this time another project (which I haven’t shared publically about yet) came through me. It just flowed out of me once I gave it (allowed it) space. It was another instance of learning to write my way through this experience called life.

This fall my friend Cathy (the same friend who taught me about beautiful curveballs) left me a voice message out of the blue describing the healing journey. It was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment, and I felt myself release.

(My interpretation doodle of her description.)

I’d always seen the spiral of life reference in the form of a tornado that was thinner at the bottom and got wider at the top (or in the case of my 2022 visionboard, it’s a slinky—ohhhh boy did I feel that evolution). Cathy described the healing journey as wider on the bottom and smaller at the top. I can’t remember all the language she used, but she talked about how along the way we face various tests, triggers, challenges, and lessons along the way that are how we move up the spiral of life. When we “pass a test” or learn from these experiences it’s how we get to the next level. As we get closer to the top, it makes sense that we encounter these triggers and tests because we’re getting closer to our alignment, and closer to manifesting our desires. In a way it’s the universe asking you, do you really want this thing you say you do? And do you feel worthy? Let’s see.

Mid-way through the year I was in my peak discomfort after learning many lessons. For someone else, these “tests” would have been seen as easy, but for me I was faced with dealing with things I’d been avoiding in life for a long time. Much of 2022 was a series of “hard conversations.” I learned to face fears along the way, and that doing the hard thing can be empowering, not scary. These lessons came in all different aspects of my life from friends to clients, some more jarring than others, and each experience really did prepare me for the next, which I’m grateful for. My body needed the rest between each curveball.

I know I needed the space and slow in order to fully process everything that was happening. While my mind fully understood what was going on, it was often my body and nervous system learning to play catch up with this new, more empowered, way of showing up in the world. I needed to slow down and get quiet in order to listen to myself instead of turning to the outside world to fix everything. I needed to slow down enough (far more than I wanted or was comfortable for me) to make space to pay attention and trust myself. This all was so counter to every one of society’s hyper-productivity messages we’re fed.

Along the way, I learned to shift from the mindset of “Oh no! What curveball now?!?” dread to “Ohhh, I’m being tested again, bring it on! I’m excited to finally work through this.” I learned I had the choice how I respond to things in the world. I learned A LOT about my intuition and trusting myself along the way.

A fun bi-product has been that I’ve had some of the most connected conversations of my life, and projects have come my way that pull from all my unique experiences in life. I feel like I’m getting closer to playing in my “zone of genius” (a term in Gay Hendricks’s book The Big Leap.)

Recently in the Mapping Your Path community, someone shared Liz Tran’s podcast RESET with us, and the episode on “The Ups and Downs of Evolving.” (I love when resources get shared from the other side of the world—going to show you never really know where your next clue may come from.) The episode was the first time I heard someone put words to the experience I had lived, or at least the first time I’d heard it expressed in a way that felt less abstract and something I could actually relate to. It resonated big time, particularly around the changing nature of friendships and relationships as we learn to operate in new ways and in ways that don’t make logical sense to others. Instead, we’re learning to live and be our true, authentic selves.

School taught me nothing about this journey of evolution, which is why I wanted to share it. Instead, it was something I had to learn through the school of life as lived. I enjoy sharing my experiences on my Biz Blog as part of the unofficial series “Things I wish I learned in school.” It also helps me mark these points in my life that so easily get erased (and we rarely hear about from others.) While growth and evolution can feel awkward, disillusioning, and at times disarming, it turns out it’s all a natural flow of life. Why not acknowledge it rather than trying to pretend everything is hunky dory, fine and dandy?

There’s no set formula for life, but here’s my permission slip to you to do things differently. Life doesn’t always look like we think it should. Things take the time they will take. Life can take us to unexpected places, which can be exciting too! Let it be an evolution and stay open and curious to what comes your way.


P.S. The next 3-mo cohort of Mapping Your Path workshop + community opens for enrollment in mid-Jan and kicks off in Feb! Sign up to be the first to be notified.